Seven years ago, I started my career as a Special Education Teacher at Seneca Middle school. I spent my first four years working with students with Autism Spectrum Disorder, who would be considered severe on the spectrum.
Three years ago, I made the decision to switch fields and began working with students who have Specific Learning Disabilities. I have thoroughly enjoyed both positions for very different reasons (I will share a separate blog post in the future about my times in both positions).
Back in November, I made the decision to leave SMS. The plan was to move to Charleston and start a family. Needless to say, things haven’t exactly gone as planned.
In January, I found out I was pregnant. Literally I just told the world that I was trying to start a family and BAM!!! Baby on board! Lol. I quickly started to think about my options! Did I really want to move away from my family with a newborn on the way? Was I going to try to find a new job knowing that I would immediately have to leave school for 8-12 weeks to take care of myself and my newborn.
The answer to all of my questions was no! So we moved to Downtown Greenville instead of Charleston to be closer to family. I also made the decision to take a year off from teaching. The first decision was easy. Honestly, a no brainer really. But the second decision was one of the hardest I’ve made, especially since COVID-19 upturned our lives. I love being a teacher and I am really fucking good at my job. So walking away from one of my biggest passions in life, even if just for a short period of time, is not easy. Even if I know I will never regret this decision!
What has made it harder is the school closure due to COVID-19. When my students left school on March 13th, I had no idea that would be the last time I would see them in person. We were literally on cloud nine all day because they were so excited to find out if my baby was a boy or girl. I had found out the day before and debated all day about whether or not I was going to tell them. But the plan was to make gender reveal cupcakes for them for that Monday. So I held the secret inside because after all I would see them Monday. Only that never happened.
Not only has that not happened, my students, who are struggling learners, are now expected to do school through distance learning. To say this has been a struggle for them and for me would be an understatement! Part of what makes me such a good teacher is the personal relationships that I build with my students. Do kids go to school to learn? Absolutely! But for me, it is also important for them to learn not only academics but how to interact with each other. I am not only a teacher for my students, but a friend! Some of them would even tell you I am like their second mom. I love my students and care for them deeply. I know when they are upset and need that peep talk that makes them not only feel loved and respected, but also smart!
Distance learning takes that away from them! Do we meet virtually, YES! Can I try to provide those same connections for them as I have always provided? YES! But is it the same? Does it have the same effect? Absolutely not. My students miss me and want to come back to school. You can see how much they hate distance learning in their faces. They are struggling to keep up with the assignments even though it is less work than they were getting when we were at school. They are telling me that homeschooling is hard and just liked the way I taught them at school so much better. As a teacher and a person who deeply cares for my students, it is absolutely heartbreaking.
I am hurting just as much as they are though, because I did not get to say goodbye the way I wanted too. So many missed birthday celebrations. So many conversations lost. So many yearbooks that I have not and will not get to sign. End of the year field trips cancelled (which one of my students talked about for months). No end of the year pizza party, where we would have celebrated the baby, summer birthdays, and I would have had the opportunity to give each one of my students one last hug and tell them how much I loved them. No more fighting over who was my favorite student.
Needless to say, this is not how I thought my last year at SMS would go. It has turned into the hardest year of my teaching career. I have spent more times crying for myself and my students than I ever have! My heart is truly broken! So much we missed out on.
Kids come to school to get an education, but my students get so much more than just that. We make huge gains in their learning abilities, while also building relationships that they will truly never forget. COVID-19 has robbed me not only of my final few months as a teacher at SMS but also of some of the lasting memories my students and I had yet to make. COVID-19 has made being a good teacher hard even though I am trying my best every morning when I get up.
Maybe in the future, I will spend some time writing about how COVID-19 has made me a better teacher for my students. But right now I am just struggling with how much this sucks! Might not be the best way to look at things, but IT’s OKAY to NOT BE OKAY!!!
I am going to finish this post off with some positivity. Here are some homeschooling tips that my students and parents have found useful during this school closure.
- Don’t make your kids get up when they normally would for school. Let them sleep in a little bit. Make sure they have a good breakfast before diving into their distance learning assignments.
- Help them make a schedule. Not all kids are good at knowing when and what to do or how to get it done in a timely manner. They are not used to getting all of their assignments, for all of their classes, at the same time of the day. Help them organize their time and assignments so that it is not so overwhelming.
- Focus on the graded assignments first. Get the important assignments done first and save the practice for later.
- Be graceful. This means to yourself and to your kids. I do not plan for any assignments to take my students more than 45 minutes to an hour (this is me, I cannot promise all teachers are taking this approach). So my students should not be spending more than 4 hours a day on school work. Also keep in mind I teach all four subjects (even though grammar is not a strength of mine). I encourage my parents to spread out assignments to include the weekend if it helps them keep a solid routine and prevents them from being overwhelmed.
- Do Not Panic if an assignment is turned in late. I know in my school district we are taking any and all late assignments including 3rd quarter assignments.
- Contact your child’s teacher if you have any questions and concerns. Even if you feel like it is a stupid question. I promise there is no such thing as a stupid question, especially under these circumstances.
- IT IS ALMOST OVER!!!! Just know we teachers appreciate everything you are doing to help your kiddos learn. You did not sign up to be teachers! It is not an easy job, especially if you are also working a full time job. We appreciate you just as much as you appreciate us!
I hope you have enjoyed this post and here is a cute bump photo that just makes me smile. I will miss you SMS, but I will be sure to visit in the future.
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